Understanding.

Being with someone, it; s not that easy.

Decided to be with someone, it's not that easy. When we decided to spend our time with them, that exactly the time when we have to accept all the things about them, nor good&bad side. Gak mudah loh, we have to share our world with them. All the things which we can enjoy by ourselves jadi harus berdua. Susah, when they ask you to be «la» or «la» and you'll try your best. Tired, udah diperjuangin tapi gak perjuangin balik. Suck, pas lo mau dingertiin tapi dia gabisa ngertiin lo dengan cara yang lo mau. And the worst thing, pas lo jadiin dia prioritas dan dia jadiin lo pilihan kedua. 

Yang jelas kalo udah milih buat sama orang lain berarti lo harus udah siap terima kalo nantinya dia gabisa kayak yang lo mau. Maybe they can't understand like the way you want, or maybe They choose their Friends over you, maybe They can't give you their time all the time, and maybe They will give you many of rules. Like what i've said, share your day with someone its not that easy. Yang tadinya lo gak perlu ngasih tau lo dimana lo jadi perlu, yang tadinya gak perlu ngasih tau lg sama siapa aja, lo jadi wajib nyebutin satu-satu. that's life. cuma sesuai gimana cara kita ngejalaninnya dan ngehargain apa yang kita punya. 

Maybe they're not the one that we want. sedangkan kita harus ngebagi hari kita sama mereka. Yang akhirnya bakal memicu rasa kesel satu sama lain. Karna pada dasarnya setiap orang itu beda-beda. Lo gak akan bisa nemu yang persis banget kayak diri lo. Tapi itu satu dari banyak-nya objektif yang kita cari kan? People said « find someone that have so many similairities with you » tapi sayangnya banyak dari kita yang salah mengartikan. Maksud disitu dibilang cari yang punya banyak kesaaman dengan kita tapi bukan berarti yang 100% sama kayak kita dan mau ngikutin segala persepsi dan kebiasaan kita. Kita harus bisa ngerti kalo mereka juga bisa buat salah, lupa janji, ngelakuin hal yang gak kita suka. Tapi kalo kita bales dengan kesel atau bete yaa gak bakal berakhir baik juga. Harusnya tau dong disitu tugas kita, buat ngertiin. Kalo gak mau ngerti ya jangan mulai dari awal. 

But now i realized, hubungan itu bukan gimana cara kita nerima dia apa adanya karena dengan cara nerima apaadanya itu gaakan cukup dan gaakan bisa bikin hubungan kita lancar. Tapi gue ngerti ini tentang 'gue' dan 'dia' tentang gimana kita bisa belajar buat ngertiin satu sama lain. We may do mistakes, tapi kalo kita niat, kita mau usaha buat memperbaiki ya gue yakin pasti bisa. Kita mungkin gak nepatin janji, atau suka seenaknya sendiri tapi kalo fungsi dari suatu hubungan itu mau berhasil ya kita harus saling ngingetin. 

Dan gue tau kalo pasangan itu gabisa dipaksa buat saling ngertiin, karena nantinya mereka bakal ngertiin satu sama lain dengan cara yang berbeda. and it's all about being around people who makes you happy like how i feel about, him.

a family stuff, Mama.

"Call it clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." - Jane Howard

I would like to tell about my mom. ok here it is. 

I bet she think she understand me pretty well. ya, she know my favorite foods, colors and hobbies. only her, have seen me at my best and my worst. but the things that she don't know about me is how much i love her because i've never let she know. "i know exactly how you feel" is one of the lines she used to try to calm me down. since i usually dramtize situations. my mind just screams "you dont know how i feel."as i get older, i have thought a lot about my mother. i love her even she's always angry, screaming like a lion. it's okay as long as i still get her hug. 

Well, she is the person whose face i saw first when i was born, someone i have lived with my whole life, someone who will give her favorite food to me, someone who want to share ice cream with me or even give all of her Baskin Fresh pack for me, someone who take care of me and clean my bloody knee when i fell off my bike. She is the true inspiration because of her many selfless act and amazing patience. i never forgot when she give me  a chilli when i try to put a chilli to my brother lips. she's always stood firm through my mood swings understood the difficulties that come with being a teenager. 

I love the way she hug. no one can give a big cuddly, comforting hug like her. even thought she have a busy life as a single parent. she still found time to help me. well, this time she always complain about hemming my clothes, or chauffeuring me everywhere. but she support me and try to give me opportunities she never had. 

Perhaps she think i dont notice all the sacrifices she makes for her daughter, but i do. she have done so many things that touch me deeply, and i hope this post will give her a glimpse into the boundless ocean that is my love for her. 

Rain.

Listen to the rain falling from above, 

falling from the Sky,

and listening to how sad it sounds 

but at the same time give you a peaceness

It's been so long for waiting

hear it! rain-drops. 

sounds like singing a lullaby

guide us to sleep, to dream and Forget. 

The smell of the ground, 

and we know it's cold outside

but rain, &all the elements he brings

it makes us free to bring out all the problems

Drop after drop, 

i won't rain last a long time 

i hope the Sun shines bright

and leave all the load.